Social anxiety is so common—and it makes sense when you understand what your brain is doing.

Maybe your heart races when you walk into a group setting. Maybe you overthink what you said for hours afterward. Or maybe you just feel like you don’t belong, even when nothing’s actually wrong. You are not alone in this.

Here’s a breakdown of how to use my Love Your Brain Formula in this exact situation:

Step 1: Love Your Brain

This means understanding what’s happening and offering yourself compassion instead of judgement.

Social anxiety is just your brain doing what it’s designed to do—protect you.

Ask yourself:

“What is my brain trying to protect me from right now?”

Is it rejection? Judgment? Embarrassment? Was there an experience in the past that is triggering this?

Your brain may perceive social situations as potential threats.

It’s activating your fear and worry circuits to try to keep you safe.

That means there’s nothing wrong with you. Your brain is just responding based on patterns it’s learned.

Recap of step 1- it's not you, it's your brain! Give yourself some grace. And there's hope! Your brain can change. The next steps will help.

Step 2: Optimize Your Brain

Now that you’ve acknowledged what’s happening, let’s support the brain physically.

Here are two quick ways to calm the areas most responsible for social anxiety:

• Basal Ganglia (linked to worry loops)
• Amygdala (fight/flight fear response)

Try this:

• Take 3 deep belly breaths, making your exhale longer than your inhale.
• Example: Inhale for 4, exhale for 6.
• This activates the parasympathetic nervous system—which calms the brain

Also check in with your basic brain needs:

Are you hungry? Tired? Dehydrated?

Supporting the physical brain is critical for resilience especially in triggering moments.

Step 3: Empower Yourself

Now that you’ve calmed the brain, let's work on the thoughts. 

Let's use the boundaries tool:

There are two types of boundaries physical and mental. 

In a social setting, physical boundaries might look like:

• Giving yourself permission to leave early.
• Saying “no” to invitations that drain you.
• Taking breaks during group events to reset.

Mental boundaries: 

• Understand you can only control you! 
• You cannot control what others think and do 
• So let them. Let them be them and you be you. Trying to resist this will only create suffering

Remember:

You can’t control what others think.

But you can control how you care for your mind.

Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re a form of brain support. They give your nervous system space to recover and reset.

Final Thoughts:

Social anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

It means your brain is trying to protect you.

When you learn how to understand it, support it, and gently guide it—you can change your experience.

This is just one example of how to apply The Love Your Brain Formula.