Part 2: Physical Boundaries 

Dr. Amen teaches,
“You can’t heal an anxious brain in a chaotic environment.”

This is the second part of our holiday boundaries series, where we focus on physical boundaries — the boundaries that protect your brain, your body, and your energy during the holidays.

I like to break physical boundaries into two parts: your body and your energy.

Meet Anxious Ally

Let’s start with an example — Anxious Ally.

Anxious Ally has no physical boundaries during the holidays. She can’t say no without feeling guilty. She overcommits to every event, babysits extra kids, and cooks all the things. There’s simply not enough time in the day, so she stays up late and fuels herself with coffee just to keep going.

Everything has to be perfect. Everything has to be magical.

She never slows down. From the moment she wakes up until she finally collapses into bed, she’s rushing, pushing, and doing it all. By the end of the holiday season, Anxious Ally is exhausted, burned out, and ironically, she doesn’t actually feel the joy of the season she worked so hard to create.

Let’s apply some physical boundaries so Anxious Ally can become Empowered Ally.

Physical Boundaries for the Body

The first area Empowered Ally addresses is her body.

She knows she has a lot to do this holiday, and she also knows how she’s going to do it — with her brain. Her brain is the organ controlling it all. If she wants to show up well, stay patient, and enjoy the season, her brain needs to be supported.

Here’s how she applies physical boundaries to protect her brain:

First, she sets boundaries with her groceries. She limits foods that hurt the brain, like processed foods, excess sugar, and alcohol. If it’s not in the house, it’s not a temptation. She focuses on what she can control.

Second, she prioritizes her sleep. She does not sacrifice sleep to get more done, because she knows that’s counterproductive. Her boundary is honoring bedtime, knowing that a rested brain is a calmer, more resilient brain.

Third, she stays hydrated. A hydrated brain functions better. She carries her oversized tumbler all day and sets a limit on caffeine — no more than two cups — since too much caffeine can actually dehydrate the brain and increase anxiety.

What physical boundaries can you set to protect your brain and your peace this holiday? I share a list of ideas in the free worksheet linked below.

Physical Boundaries for Your Energy

The second part of physical boundaries is protecting your energy.

Empowered Ally knows that not everything drains her energy equally. Some things fuel her, and others deplete her fast. She makes intentional choices to limit what drains her and prioritize what restores her.

Her biggest energy drains include:

• Multitasking

• Social media

• The news

• Conflict

• Noisy environments

• Messy environments

Instead of pretending these don’t affect her, she prepares for them.

She focuses on one task at a time because multitasking overwhelms the brain. She chooses calm and focus over chaos.

She limits social media and news consumption, knowing they often trigger emotional responses that drain her nervous system.

When conflict arises, she becomes aware of it early. When possible, she steps away. When she can’t, she uses her mental boundaries — the brain shield and the “let them” mantra — to avoid absorbing emotions that aren’t hers.

She also plans ahead for noisy or messy environments. Sometimes, she simply says no. Other times, she chooses to attend but prepares her nervous system in advance. Before the event, she takes calming breaths or practices mindfulness to establish a calm baseline. During the event, if her nerves start to feel frazzled, she offers herself compassion and reminds herself, “This is just my brain responding to my environment.” She may step outside or into the bathroom to take slow breaths or visualize her hands being warmed. Afterward, she intentionally calms her system — with a warm bath, a cup of tea, gentle yoga, or prayer.

These are energy boundaries in action.

Take a moment to reflect:
What drains you? Can you avoid it or limit it?
What fuels you?

Create a simple plan to balance your energy. Prepare for draining moments, and give yourself grace and compassion for being human.

Takeaway

You can’t control everything about the holidays.
But you can protect your brain.

Mental boundaries protect your peace.
Physical boundaries protect your health and energy.

Together, they allow you to be present — to enjoy your family — and to feel real joy instead of guilt or overwhelm.

You can love others deeply without losing yourself.

Happy holidays, my friend. 💛