How to Support Your Brain Through Grief: A Neuroscience-Based Approach

Grief is one of the hardest human emotions we experience. It can make your world feel like it’s been turned upside down, and the pain can feel unbearable.

What many people don’t realize is that while grief often feels like it lives in your heart, it is actually happening in your brain.

Grief impacts specific brain systems, and when we understand what’s happening in the brain, we can respond with compassion instead of judgment—and with tools instead of helplessness.

In this post, I’ll walk you through my 3-step Love Your Brain formula to help support your brain during one of the most challenging seasons of life.

Step 1: Love Your Brain

The first step is simple, but powerful: acknowledge what is happening without judgment.

During grief, the brain system that takes the biggest hit is the limbic system. This part of the brain is responsible for emotions and human connection. When a deep connection is broken through loss, the limbic system responds with intense emotions—sadness, longing, waves of uncontrollable grief.

If you are experiencing overwhelming sadness, please know this:
This is a normal human response to grief.

You are not broken.
Your brain is responding to loss.

Instead of resisting or judging these feelings, practice identifying what’s happening with compassion. When you feel “too much,” gently remind yourself:

“I’m not broken. My limbic system is healing.”

The brain is a physical organ—and physical organs can heal. There is hope. Allow yourself to be human. Give yourself extra grace, patience, and love during this time.

Step 2: Optimize Your Brain

Grief doesn’t just affect emotions—it impacts the physical brain. And a brain that has been hurt needs physical support to heal.

Here are five ways to optimize your brain during grief:

1. Prioritize Sleep

Sleep can become challenging during grief, and insomnia is common. Yet sleep is critical for brain healing and emotional regulation.

Practice good sleep hygiene and consider discussing supplements with your doctor. Some supplements that may support sleep include:

• Vitamin B6

• Magnesium

• Melatonin

• GABA

• 5-HTP

• L-theanine

2. Strengthen Social Connection

Grief is a loss of connection, and the limbic system heals through connection.

Consider reaching out to:

• Family or close friends

• A bereavement or grief support group

• A pastor or spiritual leader

• A therapist

You don’t need to do this alone. Social connection is essential for brain health.

3. Increase Blood Flow Through Movement

The brain needs blood flow to heal, and movement is one of the best ways to increase it. This doesn’t need to be intense—something as simple as a walk can help.

However, grief lowers motivation (also a limbic system function). You may not feel like moving—and that’s normal.

This is where you gently engage your prefrontal cortex, your control center.

Try telling your brain:

“I want to support my brain by increasing blood flow with movement.”

Write it on your calendar. Plan when and how you’ll move. Motivation may not come first—but movement often brings relief afterward. You will never regret caring for your brain in this way.

4. Stay Hydrated

The brain is approximately 70% water, and dehydration can worsen emotional distress.

If everything else feels overwhelming, start here. A glass of water is a small but meaningful act of self-care.

5. Avoid Things That Hurt the Brain

Alcohol, drugs, and excess sugar may seem comforting in the short term, but they harm the brain and slow healing in the long run.

Choose supports that heal—not ones that numb.

Quick Recap of Steps 1 & 2

• Step 1: Love your brain. Your feelings are valid. You are human. Grief is a normal response to loss.

• Step 2: Optimize your brain. Support healing by prioritizing sleep, connection, movement, hydration, and avoiding toxins.

Step 3: Empower Your Thoughts

Negative thoughts often increase during grief—and they come automatically. This is important to understand so you don’t judge yourself.

Negative thoughts:

• Decrease blood flow to the brain

• Intensify emotional pain

• Impact healing

You may notice thoughts filled with anger, sorrow, guilt, or shame. These are thoughts, not facts—and they are incredibly powerful.

The good news? You can learn to work with them.

A Simple Tool: Dr. Daniel Amen’s ANT Killer

ANTs are Automatic Negative Thoughts. One of the most effective tools to manage them is to gently question and reframe them.

Use these five steps:

1. Identify the thought

2. Ask: Is it true? Is it absolutely true? Is it serving me?

3. Notice how the thought makes you feel

4. Reframe the thought to something true and realistic

5. Notice how the reframe makes you feel

A Personal Example

After the loss of my cousin Tyler, a thought that frequently arises for me is:

“He should be here.”

• Thought: “He should be here”

• Is it true? No

• Feeling: Deep sadness and longing

• Reframe:

  • “He is now in heaven,” or

  • “I am here, and I will use his loss to help others.”

• New Feeling: Open to God’s hope, motivated, grounded

You may need to write several reframes before one resonates—and that’s okay. Choose what feels both true and supportive.

A Final Encouragement

Your thoughts influence your brain, your emotions, and your actions. You will have painful thoughts during grief—but work toward not letting them live unchecked.

At the same time, remember this:
These thoughts are coming from a brain that has been hurt.

So we return to Step 1.

Love your brain. Love yourself.
You will have hard days. You are human. This is a normal response to loss.

Be gentle with yourself. Offer compassion freely. Healing takes time—but the brain can heal, and you are not alone on this journey.