Could Something You’re Doing Right Now Be Fueling Your Anxiety?

Could something you’re doing every day—without even realizing it—be making your anxiety worse?

I want to share the top five mistakes I made when it came to my anxiety and mental health. This post covers Mistake #1, and it’s a big one.

Before I understood brain health, I was a stressed-out, frantic overachiever. I put work before everything. In my mind, I was constantly racing—anxious, overwhelmed, and never able to truly rest. My thoughts never slowed down, and my nervous system always felt “on.”

I’m in a much better place now, and my heart truly goes out to anyone who is where I once was. As I’ve reflected on that season of my life, I’ve realized there were very specific behaviors that were feeding my anxiety. I want to share them with you so you can learn from my mistakes and start feeling better—starting today.

Let’s Learn From My Mistakes

Every day felt like a race to squeeze in as much as possible. My to-do list was longer than what was physically possible to complete. I worked through lunch, stayed late, and told myself that if I could just push a little harder and finally get caught up, I would feel relief.

But the truth?
There was no finish line.

My job was unrelenting, and as many of you know, mom life is an endless flow of responsibilities. I was running a race that never ended. Does this sound familiar?

At the time, I had no understanding of the brain. I didn’t realize that my nonstop pace was actually training my brain to stay on high alert all day long.

The brain is made up of neural pathways. Repeated behaviors strengthen those pathways and turn them into habits. By constantly racing from task to task, I was training my brain to operate in full-speed, high-alert mode all the time.

That training didn’t stop when work stopped. It bled into my evenings, my sleep, and even my vacations. I couldn’t relax because I had trained my brain not to.

Mistake #1: I Trained My Brain to Be Anxious, Scattered, and Frazzled

The first mistake I want to share is this:
I trained my brain to be anxious, scattered, and frazzled through my repeated behaviors.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s me,” I want you to hear this clearly:

There is good news.

The brain can change. It is not too late to retrain your brain to feel calm, content, and at peace.

The Brain Is Amazing—and It Can Change

I want you to pause and really think about this.

Here are a few questions I invite you to explore:

1. How Do You Want to Feel?

For me, I just wanted to feel content instead of constantly stressed.
Maybe you want to feel calm, happy, motivated, empowered, or loving.

Take a moment to really name this. When you clearly tell your brain how you want to feel, it’s more likely to help you get there.

2. What Behaviors Are Training Your Brain in the Opposite Direction?

Ask yourself: What am I doing right now that does not support how I want to feel?

For me, everything was a race. I never sat still. I never paused to breathe or just be. I didn’t take lunch breaks—or any breaks at all.

I wanted contentment, but my daily behaviors were training my brain to feel anything but content.

Take some time to reflect on what you’re doing that may be working against the way you want to feel. If you can, write these down.

3. What Can You Do to Reduce the Old Pathways?

For example, one of my habits was skipping lunch breaks. To be honest, I still find lunch breaks challenging. But now, instead of staying “on” all day, I intentionally plant moments of presence throughout my day.

I stop and fully embrace the present moment—almost as if I’m experiencing it for the first time. I bring awareness to all five senses.

This has been incredibly helpful, and it’s a habit I wish I had started much sooner.

Train your brain to be calm by planting calm moments throughout your day.

And yes—this is doable, even for the busiest people. You stop to pee, don’t you? Take a sip of water? Coffee or tea? Each time you do, take a brief moment to fully focus on being calm and present.

Small moments add up.

4. What Can You Do to Actively Train the Brain?

For me, practicing presence throughout the day helped break the habit of always being “on.”

Here are a few ideas you can try if your goal is to feel more present, content, or at peace:

Practical Ideas to Train Your Brain for Calm and Contentment

1. Start a Mindfulness Practice

You’ve probably heard about mindfulness—and for good reason. There’s a lot of research behind it. When you practice being present, you strengthen the brain pathways for presence.

If your mind feels too busy, start small. I personally love the Healthy Minds app (I’m not affiliated in any way). It’s free, and it has an active option, meaning you can listen while doing things like dishes, laundry, walking, or getting ready in the morning.

I listen while I get dressed and do my makeup—no extra time added to my day.

And if your mind wanders? That’s okay. Every time you notice and gently bring it back, you’re training awareness. I’ve noticed a huge difference in my reactivity and overall calm.

2. Practice Parasympathetic Breathing

This means breathing with longer exhales than inhales. Longer exhales send a signal to your brain that it’s safe to calm down.

Pair this with daily activities: at a red light, while washing your hands, before a meeting, or when walking through a doorway. The more repetitions, the better.

3. Practice Yoga (or Gentle Movement)

Yoga connects breath and movement, which is incredibly supportive for both the body and the brain. Movement itself is deeply beneficial for brain health.

4. Add Calming Music

Music is powerful. I often listen to music from my yoga class when I notice I need extra calm. My brain has learned to associate those songs with relaxation and ease.

Even if you don’t do yoga, adding calming music to your day can help train your brain toward peace.

5. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude boosts serotonin, a neurotransmitter that supports peace and contentment.

Try adding gratitude to your nighttime routine. Each evening, reflect on what went well and what you’re thankful for.

Quick Recap: Learn From My Mistakes

The first of the five mistakes I want to share is this:
Avoid training your brain to be anxious and frazzled.

Instead, intentionally build moments throughout your day that train your brain for calm and contentment—through presence, breathing, movement, music, and gratitude.

Small shifts, practiced consistently, can create big changes.

And remember:
Your brain is always learning.
The question is—what are you teaching it?