Part 1: Mental Boundaries

If holiday gatherings send your body into fight-or-flight mode, you are not being dramatic — that’s your brain reacting to the situation and your environment.
In this guide, I’ll show you how to stay calm, centered, and in control… no matter what kind of chaos you’re walking into.

Why Are the Holidays Stressful?

Let’s be honest — the holidays are not necessarily a break for moms.

Your routine is thrown off.
You have commitments to attend gatherings and maybe even cook something.
Being around a lot of people can be overstimulating.
And every family has its share of drama, conflict, or disagreements.

So this holiday, let’s aim for:

• less guilt

• fewer obligations

• less family drama

• more peace

The answer to all of this is boundaries.

This is your holiday guide to boundaries.

Dr. Henry Cloud says,
“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me.”

I like to break boundaries into two parts: mental boundaries and physical boundaries. In this post, we’ll start with mental boundaries.

Mental Boundaries

Mental boundaries protect your mind and your thoughts. Your brain is constantly processing your environment and your interactions with others. The thoughts you have about these experiences are powerful — they directly impact how you feel and how you act.

I’m going to share two simple tools you can use to apply mental boundaries and protect your peace:

1. The Brain Bubble Force Shield

2. The Let Them Mantra

The holidays are full of moments that can trigger frustration and negative thoughts — in yourself and in others.
This year, prepare yourself.

Tool #1: The Brain Bubble Force Shield

Imagine an empowering force shield surrounding your brain. I like to picture this as a bubble — a protective bubble around your brain.

No one can enter this force shield unless you let them.

You choose what you let in.
You choose your thoughts.
You choose your feelings.
You choose how you act.

You choose love for yourself. Give yourself this holiday as a true celebration of gratitude and peace.

This holiday, you choose to be empowered.

Take a moment right now to imagine your force shield. Get comfortable with it so that when you need it, you can use it with confidence.

Let’s look at an example.
Negative Aunt Nancy has a lot to say about your parenting. She criticizes your parenting style, your clothes, and your food choices. Naturally, these comments activate emotions in the brain. Before your blood boils or tears fill your eyes, pause. Take a breath. Imagine your force shield surrounding your brain. Do not let her emotions or negativity enter your space. Protect your peace. Visually block those comments from entering your bubble.

Another example — if you’re around a child throwing a fit or a teenager being disrespectful, this can easily activate your emotions. Do you see what’s happening? Their emotions are entering your brain space. You do not have to absorb them. Use your force shield and visualize their emotions being blocked from entering your space.

This is helpful for them, too. You may have heard of mirror neurons — the brain’s way of mirroring the emotions of others. When you see someone upset, your brain can become upset too, and things spiral quickly. When you use your shield, you break the cycle. You stay calm, and your calm is mirrored back to them, helping them regulate as well.

Tool #2: The Let Them Mantra

The second tool is the Let Them mantra, made popular by Mel Robbins.

Just as no one can enter your force field without you letting them — you also can’t enter theirs.

You cannot control others. So this holiday, stay in your boundary. Release the idea that you need to control the day, your children, or other people. Letting go is liberating. Feel the freedom in that.

If someone gets upset — let them.
If someone doesn’t like your sugar-free dessert — let them.
If your child wants to wear mismatched socks — let them.
If someone shows up late — let them.

This mantra is a simple phrase to repeat when you feel tempted to manage how others should behave.

Stay in your boundary. You can only control you. Let others do them. You do you.

Dr. Cloud says,
“Boundaries are how we love others without losing ourselves.”

When we allow others to live their own lives, it’s an act of love and respect. You do not have to absorb others’ emotions, fix them, or join their chaos.

In Summary

There are two powerful tools you can use to protect your mental peace this holiday:

1. The Brain Bubble Force Shield

2. The Let Them Mantra

Imagine your brain safely held in a protective bubble. Stay loving. Stay present. Do not absorb emotions that are not yours. Let them do them — and you do you